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Friday, 28 Jan 2005

During a quick conversation while waiting for Hannah to come back from the stables, someone who I shall not name recently mentioned they're not really sure who they were.. I gave this a bit of thought.. they told me they did not like the "crappy world people have created"... Now that can't be true I commented, theres' a lot of good in the world, you just need to blend your world to your own customisation

Rather nerdily I suggested "just think of the world as your MSN contacts" Tongue "you block out people who irritate you and just leave the nice people Smile if you try that in real life you'll do fine Tongue"

"some people are persistant Tongue but they get the hint sooner or later Tongue" I continued

My contact told me that she just loves "escapism", "just becoming someone else somewhere else"

Sounded like an identity crisis to me... "i suppose i haven't figured out quite who i am yet" uhoh telltale signs that maybe some people just have over expecting expectations

it's possible, she admitted that she always was a bit of a perfectionist

My solution, think about the top 10 things you value or would like to have (this might help some of you) It doesn't matter if you can only think of 9 but you will probably find yourself listing nonspecific things like "success", "good friends"...

what success I asked to get "life".. Now you must think as to whether you are *really* certain you even know what you want, you might be thinking long term, but if you cant think specifically about what you want out of life then your never going to feel an area of acomplishment.. My friend was no focusing on meeting targets... so she couldn't take pride in meeting any targets because she hadn't really set any

Everyone wants to be successfull, but success is hard to measure, do you measure it by how much people like you? how many cars you have? or how much money you possess? or do you just value it as having an enjoyable and rewarding job?

"self-fulfilment" I was told, and that the rewarding job was what she most wanted, upon asking her what career path she wanted to take she said it was far too complicated... You can just feel where this is going, she hadnt set any measurable goals!

I've never done any psychology and have never had any experience in the matter, but if I could identify what was wrong with her life and why she felt she lacked self fullfillment then surely she could..

My final idea was... think about some short term goals... these are ones I think you might like

1. Concentrating on school with the full intention of going through exams and passing them (Justdoing exams is a struggle)
2. Find a sweet love interest Smile

if you manage to do both of those then I can't see why my friend should be miserable and lack self fullfillment... If you set yourself targets you'll be more orientated towards completing them.. don't become exam stressed and boy mad but just wake up each day thinking "this is what i'd like to achieve this month, if I do either of these things then I cant expect anything more from myself" and that should make you feel happy with yourself Smile

My friend showered me in compliments, I should apparantly "make people charge for advice like this!", there we have it one happy person sorted I think..

The moral of the story, the quicker you realise how you think (and what you expect from your life) the quicker you can adjust things to keep you happy